Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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