So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
