This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
