Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
my liver is dry heaving
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
