How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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