How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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