...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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