Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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