I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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