My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Who died my cat blue again?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
