hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
