dude i'm inner monologue high
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
