Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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