Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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