I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can't turn off my feet"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
