FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
