please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
