i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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