He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
