I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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