I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
