Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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