I could make wine with my vomit
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize