no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
