how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
