I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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