no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
