Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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