So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize