I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
