Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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