does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize