4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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