I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
