U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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