Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
