jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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