New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
