"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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