i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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