Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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