now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
