She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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