he wants to bone in the snuggie
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
