The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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