Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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