if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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