I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
