Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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