But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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