she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm at about main and main street
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The power of my boobs compel you
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
