Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
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there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
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Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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