I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
