I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that's an acceptable place to lick
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
