OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
