We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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