Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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