I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
