How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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