giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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