separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize