tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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