She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
