we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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