hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
