k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
only you would photoshop your dick
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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